A Few Meals I Didn’t Post About - Stuffed Delicata Squash, Baked Steak and Mushrooms, and Mediterranean Potato Salad

I kept seeing these gourd looking things in our fridge and had no idea what they were and hadn’t bothered to ask Bev.

Humor For Us Old Dogs Out There And A New Television

I'm a kid at heart and have always enjoyed a good snow fix so if I had heat and power, and a supply of wood for my fireplace, I would have loved being in Buffalo this weekend and maybe you to Betsy.

Air Fryer And English

I’ve posted before that I am not a fan of specialty kitchen gadgets and as I walked into the room recently there was a commercial on TV for an air fryer so I watched a couple of minutes.  Then, I went online to do a little research on them and discovered they work by having a fan circulate hot air around the food. 

I, then, realized I already have two of them on hand – a full-convection kitchen oven and a full-convection toaster oven, so no air fryer needed - $100+ saved.

Also, I continue to be concerned about the degradation of the English language and it’s no wonder we have communication issues as the meaning of words keeps changing (and this doesn't even count the new text shorthand).  In my younger days when mom said we were having fried potatoes, I knew they would be cooked in a pan (usually cast iron) with some type of fat (usually bacon) and I never had to ask if they were to be cooked in the oven or in the air fryer.  Per Webster – fried: to cook in a pan or on a griddle over heat especially with the use of fat.

So when you read about a dish coming from Almost Heaven South, you can usually assume the following:

Fried – in a pan with fat

Baked – in an oven

Nuked – in a microwave

Griddled – on the flat griddle

Grilled – over an open flame device (gas, charcoal, wood)

But wait, there are obviously some exceptions such as a grilled cheese sandwich which is cooked on the griddle or in a skillet and to make it more confusing, as a kid, we called them toasted cheese sandwiches even though they were cooked in a pan and not the toaster.  So if everyone will just start calling them fried cheese sandwiches I think all will be fine.  Hopefully this brought a little grin to your face.J

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Reheated Chicken Pepperoni And A Funny

My last post was about Chicken Pepperoni and it ended with how I froze them. 

Apple Annie’s in Pt. Marion

Point Marion, PA sets on a point at the junction of the Monongahela and Cheat Rivers in southwestern PA and is just over the border from WV – I didn’t know until today why it was called Pt. Marion, even though I’ve heard of the town my entire life.  Other than sitting at the river confluence, I’m not sure why Pt. Marion exists and it is obviously not a highly prosperous community of about 1000 residents.

But it does have Apple Annie's and while visiting relatives in WV, my cousins suggested we make the 30 minute drive for lunch.  This is Bev and my cousin (his wife hide) before we entered the restaurant and a shot of the inside (from the web), which is larger than I thought it would be.

The Store List – Which One Are You

For years I’ve known there was a major difference between how Bev and I go to the grocery store but I never completely understood it until today and it boils down to the role of the store list.

For me the store list is the plan and when I go in the store I forget everything else and move through the store picking up the items on the list and buy nothing else except the rare impulse buy from the stuff blocking the aisles.  So for me the list is pretty much the maximum buy list.

But for Bev, the consummate shopper, it's just the opposite and the list represents the minimum amount of items to buy and those that should not be forgotten.  So she goes from aisle to aisle buying those items she knows we need (even though they are not on the list) but being sure she gets those items that are on the list.

This explains how we can go to the store with the same list and I get ten items while she gets a cart full – can’t believe it took me 30 years to figure this out.  I'm not sure if it’s a left brain/right brain thing, being the person responsible for meals showing up on the table, or something else that accounts for the difference.

Which type shopper are you and what do you think makes us so different.

Ain’t it great to be re-tared and have nothing better to do than contemplate and write blog posts about something like this.  Life is good here at Almost Heaven South.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by.

Larry

10/7/15 event date

Humor - Why Beer Is Good For You

I'd never heard this explained so well prior to Cliff Claven's version.

"Well you see, Norm, it’s like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Saturday Humor - Three Contractors Bid On The White House Fence.

This would be hilarious if it wasn't so likely to be reality.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000.  That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?

"The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government works.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Leftovers Breakfast - Garage - A Senior Moment

BREAKFAST
Perhaps the best part of our Wine Club party food was a bunch of the practice biscuits still in the freezer and gravy left over from the party to which we added a couple of scrambled eggs, and picked-that-morning tomatoes with cottage cheese.  I'm pretty sure tomato and cottage cheese did not originate locally, but it still seemed like a delicious southern breakfast to me.

Sunday Humor - USRSF

I saw this on Facebook and being from both WV and TN, so after a chuckle, just had to post it here.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Saturday Humor - Three Seniors

Betsy Adams from Joyful Reflections posted this on Facebook and I thought it was too good to pass up.  Thanks for the good chuckle Betsy - Bev and I are this bad.

Thanks for stopping by.

Larry

Humor

I usually avoid, politics, religion and controversial issues on here, but regardless of your political affiliation or views on immigration, it’s hard to read this and not get a chuckle out of it.

“Arizona Governor Jan Brewer vs. the Phoenix Suns owner,

The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver, came out strongly opposing AZ's new immigration laws.  Arizona's Governor, Jan Brewer, released the following statement in response to Sarver's criticism of the new law:

What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people were sneaking into games without paying? What if they had a good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn't be ejected. Furthermore, what if Suns' ownership was expected to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?"

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer”

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

How True It Is

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Immigration Views & Spring

It’s hard to get the news lately and not find something about illegal aliens, immigration, immigration reform, and such, so I decided it was time for me to weigh in on this issue.

I’ve come to the conclusion it is time to totally close our borders to all forms of immigration and freeze the population at current levels.  How did I come to this conclusion – glad you ask.

THE MORE YOU READ THE FUNNIER IT GETS......COULDN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY.

My same aged friend Ron sent this to me and I decided to post it as you older folks will appreciate it and you youngins will have something to look forward to.

"$5.37!  

                    

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.  I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.  Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.  

He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."  I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.  Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied.  I am 56, not even 60 yet?  A mere child!  Senior citizen?  I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo.  Was he blind?

As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.  Old?  Me?  I'll show him, I thought.  I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!  What am I now?  A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"  I stared with utter disdain at the keys.  I began to rationalize in my mind!  "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!  It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck.  I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.  What now?  I checked my keys and tried another.  Still nothing.  That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.  I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.  Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat.  Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.  A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard.  Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.  

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.  That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!  My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.  I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.  

There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish.  All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"  All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"?  At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.  Elmo had no clue.   

I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.  He was holding up a drink and a bag.  His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."  I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.  She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone.  Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.  And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.  I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.  I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.  The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.”

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Snorkeling in Minnesota - Too Funny

If you don't do anything else this weekend, you should pop over to Live Laugh RV, look at the last photo, and see if you can refrain from laughing.

http://livelaughrv.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/no-room-at-the-inn/

Ingrid - if you see this, I'm unable to comment on your blog.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Hot Dog Or Wiener

Let the confusion begin and lets begin with Wikipedia which says “A hot dog is a cooked sausage, traditionally grilled or steamed and served in a sliced bun as a sandwich” they later say “Common hot dog ingredients include: Meat trimmings and fat, Flavorings, such as salt, garlic, and paprika, Preservatives (cure) - typically sodium erythorbate and sodium nitrite.”  Notice no mention of bun or sandwich.  This was accompanied with this photo labeled "Grilled Hot Dogs"

                                          Grilled hot dogs

According to Webster, a wiener is a “frankfurter” and a frankfurter is “a cured cooked sausage (as of beef or beef and pork) that may be skinless or stuffed in a casing.”

When I was growing up, we always grilled wieners from which to make hot dogs and I’ve ordered and eaten hundreds of hot dogs in my time and I never once expected to be served, nor did I ever get, just the meat.  So why when I go to the store can I find a pack of hot dogs?

Have you ever known a kid sing “I’d love to be an Oscar Meyer Hot Dog.”

In looking at Sam’s Club online, I’m happy to report that I found only a couple of packages calling themselves hot dogs, a few more called wieners, and the vast majority labeled as franks (perhaps because it sounds better than wieners).

Now that we have that cleared up, let’s discuss hamburger, which Webster says is:

a:  ground beef 

b:  a patty of ground beef

c:  a sandwich consisting of a patty of hamburger in a split typically round bun

Is it any wonder we have communication problems in America. J I love to do food rants.   

Lifted this photo from Facebook.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Saturday Humor – Eating Dogs

A friend sent me this and I had to post it.

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart. 

"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush, and then, after staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and in a soft brogue  whispers:

"What part did you get?"

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Saturday Humor - Hillbillies

I lifted this from the web and got a good chuckle.

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Saturday Humor - Bush's Advisors

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."

She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry