Weekend Humor

..and God said...

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said.... *            

              

(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!)*

"What's a headache?"

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Hawaiian Pork Re-Do For The Kids

After the brisket and egg breakfast to begin the day, we had the other meat I’d smoked to wrap up the day at the dock (we ended up with a party of 13).  The meal was composed of pineapple and regular ribs, Hawaiian pork with pineapple salsa, grilled potatoes, coleslaw, and chocolate chess bars for dessert.

I cooked the pork the same as we had for the blogger party back in May and we made a batch of Pineapple Salsa for it using the recipe from Marguerite at Cajun Delights.  Please check out her site for the recipe and a photo.  Wende (daughter) took the photos with her phone.

I thought everything was very good and it seemed to be a big hit with the diners, especially the pineapple ribs with the grand kids.  Of course, after playing hard on the lake all day, they would probably have eaten about anything :-).  Bev and I enjoyed the leftovers the next day while the others went to Dollywood - it was a nice day for R&R.

Photos best if enlarged by clicking on them.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

8/04/2013 event date

A Texas Breakfast For The Kids

While the kids are visiting, I decided it would be a good time to cook up a bunch of Hawaiian Pork (my header shot is some of it from the blogger party) while I still have banana leaves and store it in the freezer for winter.  And of course while the smoker was running, I cooked a brisket and some ribs per a granddaughter request.

As usual, I cooked the big meat overnight and it was done by the time we were ready to eat breakfast so Bev said she’d like brisket to which I quickly agreed.  I had split the brisket with a friend and I kept the fattier deckle end – most folks prefer the leaner flat muscle.  I was in a big hurry and got one blurry shot and not much of a plated presentation - there were 10 folks in line with plates in hand.

We added scrambled eggs, mango, and toast for a mighty fine meal – the brisket was delicious.

Photos best if enlarged by clicking on them.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

8/03/2013 event date

I Almost Got To Say “The Gangs All Here”

No two old folks need a 4000 sq.ft. house to wander around in and keep up, but when we built ours, we did so with the idea of entertaining friends and having it’s location on the lake attract kids and grandkids.  Over the 20 years of living here, we have done our fair share of entertaining and have had the kids and grands often, but this time we were within two days of them all being here together for the first time.

Kathy (daughter) and her three girls came in for their annual visit on Thursday evening and late that night, Rhett (son) and Beth came in later for an overnight to pick up Reese and Riley.  They had to leave early Friday for Michigan to spend time with Beth’s family.  Eric (son), Ann, and there boy and girl are coming late Saturday and Wende came over from Oak Ridge. 

We didn’t have clear sleeping arrangements for the first night and Kathy said not to worry as they could sleep anywhere – this is what I found in the living room next morning, so I guess she was right.

This is the Walkers as they depart for MI.

Since no one will be in the military after next spring and stationed who-knows-where, maybe we’ll get more opportunities to have them all for a big family get-together.

So over the next five days, we’ll be feeding and entertaining 11/12 folks – please stay tuned for the results, assuming we don’t run away from home that is.

Photos best if enlarged by clicking on them.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

8/1/2013 – 8/07/2013 event date

A Tale Of Two Siblings

I'd posted earlier that all of the Walker girls are visiting with us for what is now nearly three weeks.  While they got along well for about 10 days, Madison (15) and Reese (13) are now at odds with each other - a common occurrence when they lived together and between siblings in general.  I had a brief discussion with each of them about sibling relationships then decided to send them a short story to think about - if not now, perhaps will have a positive impact someday.  Thought I'd share it with you as well.

"There was once a five year old boy who was an only child and the apple of his parents and next door grandparents eyes, when along came a baby sister.  Whether it was the age difference or jealousy from the boy at losing his favored only child status, he and his sister didn’t have a lot to do with one another while growing up. 

Eventually the boy went off to build his life several hundred miles away, with a job and a family and the girl did the same but in the hometown.  As a result the boy and girl would see each other every year or so when the boy returned to visit with the parents.

The years passed and the boy and girl continued to see each other during these parental visits and their relationship could best be described as they were good acquaintances - they were never really friends.

When the boy was nearly 50, he realized that it might not be long before they were the only family members remaining and the he decided to reach out to the girl and she turned out to be receptive.  They had many long talks about their childhood, their lives, and their feelings for each other – the girl never liked the boy (he could be a jerk).  After a year or so of visits and phone calls the relationship continued to develop, they both liked what was happening between them, and both regretted the lost years they could have had together.

Then disaster struck as the girl was diagnosed with stage four cancer.  While the relationship was still good, it was hard to build much as the girl spent most of her time battling the disease, they lived 600 miles apart, and both had jobs.  The girl fought the disease for five years and the boy spent as much time with her as possible even moving her to his home for a few months at one point.

After the five years, the girl was about to lose the battle and as the boy was lamenting the lost time with her, the girl replied “no regrets big brother, these last few years have been great between us.”  After this and the loss of their mother with things left undone and words left unsaid, the boy decided he would never again lose a person important to him without keeping any relationship junk cleaned up at all times. 

I am that boy and the entire family is gone but me.  Oh the things I wish I could have redone."

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

Not Quite Velva’s Sunday Sauce

During the grandkids visit, Reese requested spaghetti with meat sauce and Bev wanted to add some Italian sausage and meatballs so I went to Velva’s recipe for Sunday Sauce at Tomatoes On The Vine.  I have to say this is the most unique sauce I’ve ever seen and considering the meat she used, at some point this ole BBQer will have to try it as she makes it. – please click on the link to have a look at the original.

I generally used Velva's ingredients for the sauce and changed up the meat and the cooking process a little.

Sunday Sauce – adapted from Tomatoes On The Vine

Ingredients:

1½ lb.             Hamburger

1 large            Onion, diced

3 ea.               Shallots, diced

4 cloves         Garlic, minced

3 qts.              Canned tomatoes (we used ours)

6 oz.               Tomato paste

20 fresh         Basil leaves, divided

1 tsp.              Dried basil

½ tsp.             Dried oregano

½ tsp.             Crushed red pepper

¾ tsp.             Salt

½ tsp.             Fresh ground black pepper

2 ea.              1”x2” pieces parmesan rind (had them laying around in the fridge)

Directions:

1. Add hamburger to a large pot and brown over medium heat.

2. When meat is mostly browned, add onion, shallots, and garlic and cook until they are softened, stirring often.

3. Deglaze the pan with some of the tomato liquid scrapping up all of the brown bits (a little red wine could also be used for this).

4. Stir in the tomatoes, dried basil, dried oregano, red pepper, 10 fresh basil leaves, Parmesan rind, and the S&P, bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer fora couple of hours, if time permits.

5. About 30 minutes before serving, add the meatballs to warm up (we used some we had in the freezer) and grill.  

Grill the sausage , cut into desired lengths and add to the sauce. 

6. Just prior to serving, stir in the remaining basil, then serve pasta per your favorite method – we plated the pasta, topped with meat sauce, added the desired meatballs and sausage, and grated parmesan over everything.

Notes: We added the tomato paste as we didn’t have time to cook it long enough to thicken.  For pasta we used a mixture of spaghetti and linguini as that’s what we had on hand, but use your favorite.

Bev and I both decided this will be our new go-to meat sauce.  Thanks Velva for helping with a delicious meal and now I need to invite some friends over and make the original.

Photos best if enlarged by clicking on them.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

7/24/2013 event date

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

As I mentioned in the post about camping in North Georgia, we had Madison and her two sisters with us and after the trip they all came back home with us for another week, which got extended to two+ weeks.  While here Bev asked each of them if they would like something special for supper and Riley chose chicken noodle soup.

For this soup, we’ve been using my dad’s recipe for years and Bev went about making it with the first step being “In a large pot, cover breast with water, add a little salt, bring to boil and simmer until chicken is done – about 25 minutes.”  However, she didn’t read the directions and roasted the breast in the toaster oven until the skin was golden brown, at which time I pointed out the recipe instructions.

We both agreed it might still make good soup, so I removed the main breast muscle and skin from the bone and tender muscle, added everything to the pot, and proceeded with the recipe directions from there.

Chicken Noodle Soup – adapted from Dad

Makes about 4 quarts

4 ea                Bone on chicken breasts (or 2 of the more common giant ones)

3 qts                Water

2 stocks          Celery, diced

2 lge               Carrots, diced

1 lge               Onions, diced

8 oz                 Frozen peas (we omitted for Riley)

8 oz                 Dry wide egg noodles or pasta of choice (more or less to taste)

3 ea                Chicken bouillon cubes, dissolved (only if needed)

1/3 tsp            Thyme, dried

½ ea               Bay leaf

1½ tsp            Parsley, dried

1/3                  Tiger Seasoning

to taste           Salt

to taste           White pepper

1. Roast breasts until the skin is nicely browned, cool it enough to handle, pull off main breast muscle, and add everything to the soup pot including any juices in the roasting pan.

2. Add the water, a little salt, bring to boil, and simmer about 25 minutes.

3. Remove chicken from broth, and set aside to cool enough to handle then debone and dice meat to desired size - discard skin and bones.

4. Strain broth and remove most of the fat.

5. Add broth back to pan, dissolved bouillon cubes (if using), and salt and pepper to taste.

6. Add vegetables and cook until done.

7. Meanwhile cook egg noodles al dente in another pan, salted to taste.

8. Drain noodles and add to the soup.

9. Stir all together and serve.

For her pasta, Riley chose a mix of spaghetti and dots and I followed the package directions for cooking beginning with the spaghetti, which I forgot to break into shorter pieces – making it a little harder to eat.  The picture doesn't do it justice - Bev added some roasted jalapeno to her bowl.

What a fine mistake it was to roast the chicken as it gave the soup a rich, full bodied flavor and this will be the new standard from now on.  Even though it had been cooked twice, the chicken was moist and tender – I used about a ½” dice.  If you have a favorite chicken soup recipe, that doesn’t include roasting the chicken, you may want to give it a try.

Sorry for the lack of photos but I wasn’t planning a blog post about this until I tasted it.

After the chicken soup, Reese and Riley decided a bubble bath was in order - no posing, they just looked this way.

Photos best if enlarged by clicking on them.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.

Larry

7/22/2013 meal date