1. AVOID
CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE
VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE.
2. AVOID
ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH
BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES,
THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU
HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO
COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY
NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE ~ WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD,
USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU
CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY
THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE
ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO
YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Have a great
day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.
One year
ago: Gardening Thursday – Growing peppers
Two years
ago: Pancakes For The Grandkids
Larry
Why do I love the high blood pressure tip. Too Funny.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing these great tips. I'll keep them in mind!
ReplyDeleteDear Larry, These were great!! Thanks for the laughs and smiles. Blessings, Catherine
ReplyDeleteI had to chuckle at your comment on my last post too :) Love the duct tape and WD40 tip - so true!
ReplyDeleteSage advice. The laxatives, hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThese are cracking me up Larry!
ReplyDeleteToo Kool fro School. I love them all.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot one: If it can't be fixed with duct tape and baling wire, it's not worth fixing!
ReplyDeleteYou are a real piece of work Larry.
ReplyDelete