Congress Is Hostage
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress. They’re asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car collecting donations....”
“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.
The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”
A Father’s Duty
My teenage daughter came home in a rage.
‘I’ve just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!’
I put down my paper: ‘Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.’
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