Saturday, January 28, 2012

Saturday Humor


Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.  

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be.
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) 

WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING 

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by Almost Heaven South.
Two years ago:  Breakfast On A Bun
Larry

7 comments:

  1. What a great way to start the day Larry. I'm still laughing about the strawberries.
    Sam

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  2. Man I hadn't thought about some of these people for years. Really liked the Rose Marie comments, but they're all priceless.

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  3. Thanks for the laughs. They couldn't script things this funny.

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  4. Man I forgot how classic that show was and how baudy at the time.

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